Want to skip straight to the recipe? Click here! Life is pretty bleak right now. As the weeks and months wear on, my hopes of visiting any European Christmas markets this December are fading away. I’ve already canceled two trips this summer: one to Mongolia and another to see relatives in South Africa. I’m spending my time in books, most recently reading Lafayette, John Adams, and On War. But my heart hurts for the loss of Christmas markets, particularly the…
Now you know how I became a shoe model. (If not, you can read the story here.) But how did I actually feel about the shoes I received? A little background: Happy Feet Plus is a Florida chain that sells “footwear for a healthier you.” They are well known for selling Birkenstocks, and since I had never owned a pair, I had never thought to go into a Happy Feet. My first experience with the store was the night I…
Note: I’ve written this from the viewpoint of someone who has halfheartedly watched the television show, skimmed a few chapters of the first book, and chatted a little with a professor of medieval history. Game of Thrones is cruising towards its final episode, and at the same time, fan theories are spiraling into oblivion like the swirling symbols of the white walkers in the north. I’ve enjoyed many of them (my favorite was that Bran was the Night King), but…
I’ve now been a resident of Florida for over half my life. That is an odd thing to say, as I still think of myself as being from Kentucky. However, my ability to identify a roach leg at 10 paces out has developed over the course of many years in this bug-friendly habitat. And yes, you read that right. Roach leg. It’s not uncommon to find a hairy little leg on the floor with no trace of the body that…
Occasionally I like to do a little blog maintenance, even if that means I’m not actually writing anything: I log in, I erase the spam, and I log out. Today, I decided to extend that spring cleaning to the @travelorelse Twitter account too. And wow. I’m a little depressed, and not because of the fact that Twitter is a bit of a dumpster fire anyway. When I started Twitter, I did so with the idea of focusing primarily on travel,…
Clearly, it was a sign. As the burly man loaded our Black Hills spruce on top of the car, he winced as the needles pierced through his gloves and into his thick, calloused fingers. “Them heres angry trees,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “Dey never want to be chopped down in the first place.” I stared at the tree on the roof of the car. An angry tree. It’s blue branches shining in the 80-degree sun, drooping over the back of the window, while…
“The Answer to the Great Question…of Life, the Universe and Everything…” said Deep Thought. “Is…” said Deep Thought, and paused. “Forty-two,” said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm. Or it’s the price of a single glass of Elijah Craig 18 at Manny and Merle in Louisville, KY. It would have been kind of the bartender to tell us this number before he poured the drink, even if it took 7.5 million years, but he was more of a Dolt…
The world can be a terrible place. Paris, Beirut, Kenya. Those are the ones we know about. That is what we’re reeling from today. And if you’re not horrified by what the politicians are saying, you’re probably horrified by the hate and vitriol filling your Facebook feed. It’s no wonder we’re feeling overwhelmed, depressed, unable to stymie the flow of tears. I’ve spent quite a bit of time in South Africa, where everywhere exists a stark dichotomy between the stunning beauty and the appalling horror next to…
I am 37 years old. For at least 32 of those years, I have played some form of softball, starting with t-ball at Lyndon Recreation when I was just 4 or 5 years old. It’s a long time to play, and at this point in my life, the glory days are over, long over. I play co-ed D-league slow-pitch softball—the only step down from this league is the kickball league. And there are fewer and fewer heroic moments to be…
Writing a check is pretty uneventful stuff. But as I was writing out the date yesterday, looping the “J” of June, I thought, “Today is the first day in 96 years that my Granny hasn’t drawn a breath in this world.” It was a strange thought to have. I pulled back the pen and looked at the date for a moment: June 10, 2015. My grandmother passed away Tuesday. It wasn’t an unexpected death. She had had a stroke not…